Europe … Lost in Translation

A completely random selection of snaps and misinterpretations from my travels. Enjoy x

An inspired name for this chip shop in Amsterdam. Does it sell tulips as well as burgers and drinks, going by the wording on the awning?

Considering the Netherlands’s relaxed laws on recreational drugs, the name of this bureau de change in Amsterdam‘s red light district is of little surprise

The name of the Flemish cake being promoted here clearly was lost in translation.
Antwerp, Belgium

Watch out! Giant butterflies on the loose.
Bad Ischl, Austria

The thought of catching even a glimpse of a ‘bizarre cat’ definitely caught my attention.
Close to Bandon, South France

Now, French is not my first language, but I gleaned from this sign near Biarritz, South-West France that…

…men must wear pants if venturing onto this beach

I am always grateful to taxi drivers getting me to my desired destination, but I think a 10% monetary tip is more than adequate as a sign of appreciation for their trouble…

Bologna, Italy

It was not the spelling of ‘pieces’ on this Turkish-Italian menu that caught my attention at the time. I was far more intrigued by the dish that was prepared in Outer Space.
Bologna, Italy

Unable to find a sign to confirm that he was definitely at Bordeaux airport, this man referred to his mobile GPS.
Bordeaux Airport arrivals car park, France

Most tourists to the Spanish enclave of Ceuta, along the North African coast, are bemused – and many are understandably offended – by the sight of this striking statue close to the port area…

This is Ceuta’s ‘Easter Monument’. The hooded capirote is worn by religious figures in Spain during the week leading up to Easter, and has nothing to do with the despicable Ku Klux Klan (honest)

So if this is the road on which Father Christmas lives, where does he park the sleigh at night if it is closed to all traffic (except cycles)?
Edinburgh, Scotland

So, do I eat off it or use it to paint with?
A beautiful – and very tasty – sorbet dessert known as the ‘Palette’. Liechtenstein

There’s no humorous quip to go with this snap. I just think it’s delightful.
An original 1950s London Underground clock featuring the iconic LU roundel. Bethnal Green

A fitting tribute on the night (23rd May 2017) the man I had been in love with since I was six years old, sadly died.
Islington Angel, North London

A heavenly sense of humour on the side door of this church in Crouch End, North London.
Are all Gods welcome, or did the possessive apostrophe fall off?

I was tempted to place a toy car on this set of very narrow – and pointless – double yellow lines on a residential street in North London, to see whether a traffic warden would give it a parking ticket

Happy birthday Jimmy Choo. You are getting more and more glamorous with age.
Essex Road, North London

Now that’s word-play. Superb.
South-West London

I dare anyone to eat here.
The art of mild persuasion, South-West London

Vitreous humour.
South-West London

Enjoying a ‘Royal Flush’ during the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee in 2012.
North London beauticians

This always makes me smile when I pass by it in the departures lounge at London City Airport: a portrait of the Queen of Hearts next to the defibrillator

No wonder she’s smiling.
Sand sculpting along the Thames South Bank, London

Good quality metal not required here.
North London

In all the years I have lived in London, I haven’t noticed many giraffes about. Evidently, there are too many around and there is a need to dispose of them in an environmentally friendly manner. I hope that cage is high enough. I understand their necks can be quite long.
Central London

Well, if there was ever going to be a burger bar on the corner of this North London street, it couldn’t possibly be a Burger King or Wimpy, could it?

Through the barricades…

…I noticed this plaque in honour of ’80s pop band Spandau Ballet.
Holborn, Central London

An alluring pose.
Hoe Couture, North London

It would appear even boutique mannequins suffer from bad breath.
King’s Road, South-West London

More Robert ‘Doorknob’ than Robert Doisneau, this is the fancy knocker found on the main door into
15 Plaza de la Merced, Málaga: the birthplace and first family home of Pablo Picasso

Sonofa cul-de-sac was just around the corner.
Paris, France

I came across some interesting items in this Parisian market, like this (wo)man in the iron mask

Falling for Paris

Paris or Blackpool? It’s so difficult to tell

My dear friend Anne Guy commented that this was “…a great art installation by Two-shoes Lautrec”.
Palais Garnier, Paris

Something just doesn’t seem quite right with this mirror.
Piazza Cavour, Rimini, Italy

That’s one scary looking Italian dessert. More “I scream” than ice cream.
Rome

No twerking allowed on or against metro trains in Rome

… and grinding up against train doors is not acceptable either in the Italian capital

I spotted this uncanny portrait near Rome’s Piazza Navona. Is it a Botticelli? A Caravaggio? Or maybe it’s a graffiti tag by Berlusconi himself

I wasn’t entirely convinced at the time that this chair was as ancient as its surroundings. It looked more Ikea than Roman.
Roman Forum, Rome

She may have lost her head, but she never lost her virginity.
Ancient statue of a vestal virgin, Temple of Vesta, Roman Forum, Rome

Even Roman Gods cannot resist a round or two of Candy Crush on their mobile.
Rome

I was looking for a postcard but could only find Pope-cards in Rome

This statue of Pope John Paul II outside Rome’s Termini train station looks more like
Christian Bale’s Batman

Mmmm.. Backed cock for main…

…and a dessert that seems to have passed its best before date on offer at this restaurant in San Marino

A practical parking sign accompanied, for no apparent reason by images of beautiful locals in traditional alpine dress… unless of course the sign is directing drivers to a group of lederhosen-wearing Austrians around the corner.
Salzburg

This ice cream flavour may be popular in Seville, but it’s a colour not known to nature

Toulouse: Le Track
(apologies)

Clearly, there are a lot of bear cubs travelling on Turin‘s public transport system…

…so many in fact, that Turin provides seating areas specifically for them across the metro network

I’m sure the designers of Vienna‘s brand new Central train station aren’t the only ones in the world to have not spotted the fatal flaw in positioning the hall clock over the glass entrance

A place to exercise the mind and get Super-Ego fit in Vienna

Evidently, the Viennese love gardening, but their English grammar could do with more work.
Street Art Passage, Vienna

It would seem grammar is a full time job as well in Vienna (I guess they haven’t come across the piece captured in the previous photograph yet)

I wonder if anyone got the one that said “Where Hitler and Stalin used to have a cuppa when passing through”.
Celebrating 140 years of Vienna’s famous Cafe Central

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